Gundam Dodgeball
by SexyNekoMata
Summary: The pilots and others are playing dodgeball in gym class! Some Relena-bashing


Gundam Dodgeball  
  
"Alright, kiddies, listen up." Mr. Yoshida said. "In gym class today we will be playing dodgeball. There will be multiple balls going around. It will be every person for themselves." He went and retrieved the ball bin. "The balls will be here. Well, get to it!"  
  
"Hey, Hilde!" Duo called out. "I know you won't be able to hit me, because I am Shinigami, God of Death!"  
  
"Shut up with this whole Shinigami thing, Duo!" Hilde yelled back. "Tell you what, if you get me out first, I'll be your slave for a month. But if I get you first, you're my slave for a month."  
  
"You're on!" Duo said.  
  
Zechs was taking off his helmet when Noin approached him.  
  
"Why are you taking off your helmet?" She asked. "It will probably help you in this game."  
  
"I don't want my precious helmet to get dented." He said.  
  
Noin walked away, muttering darkly under her breath. "You'll be sorry you ever saw that thing."  
  
Soon they were all lined up, each holding a ball and waiting for the signal to begin.  
  
Tweeeeeeeet!  
  
"Die, Duo!"  
  
"Huh?" Duo turned towards Hilde and barely ducked in time. "Ha hah! Didn't get me! Shinigami rules!"  
  
"Oh, Heeeeeerrrooooooo!" Relena called. She threw a ball at him. It didn't quite reach him, but regardless, Heero pulled out his gun and blasted the ball to bits.  
  
"Heero Yuy! No guns allowed in the gym!" Mr. Yoshida yelled.  
  
"Eeeeeeek!" Relena screeched. Suddenly a ball bounced towards Relena and hit her on the hip.  
  
"Ow!" She whined. "That hurt! Heero! Save me!"  
  
"Death before dishonor!" Wufei cried, flinging balls all over the place.  
  
Quatre dodged one and gently lobbed one of his own at Trowa, who was just standing there.  
  
"Looks like you're out, Trowa." Quatre said.  
  
"Okay." Trowa said, standing off to the side with Relena.  
  
"Oh, you got out too! Now I have someone to talk to!"  
  
Trowa just moved away, and Relena followed him, saying, "So, what's your favorite color?"  
  
Noin ducked and rolled away as Zechs threw a ball at her. She jumped up and threw hers at him, yelling, "Die, Zechs Marquis!"  
  
Zechs looked at her. "I thought I was the love of your-Oof!" He said as her ball hit him in the stomach.  
  
"I thought that stupid helmet was the love of your life." Noin said, standing over him.  
  
Quatre was throwing balls when Duo sighted him as a target. He went to throw the ball at him, but Dorothy threw her ball in front of Quatre, where it hit Duo's ball and knocked it off its course.  
  
"Hey! What'd you do that for?" Duo said.  
  
"I won't let you harm my, sexy, gorgeous Quatre!" Dorothy said. "He's gonna need to be in one piece so I can do what I plan to do to him later."  
  
Quatre covered his face with his hands. "Dorothy, please leave me alone." He begged.  
  
"You're all mine later, sweetie. Ow!" She cried as Duo's ball hit her in the back of the head.  
  
"You're out! Off to the side with you!" Duo said.  
  
Dorothy looked crestfallen, but only for a second before she passed Quatre. She stopped and leaned in to whisper, "I'll catch you later, sexy." She patted him on the butt before joining Trowa, Zechs and Relena. Quatre turned bright red.  
  
"I wish she'd stop stalking me." He muttered.  
  
"Sorry, buddy, can't help you there. Hey, Noin!" Duo cried, throwing a ball at her. She barely dodged it. Duo shrugged. "Oh well."  
  
Catherine and Hilde were back to back, catching and throwing balls all around. Hilde turned to Catherine. "Wanna help me get Duo?"  
  
"Okay, sure." Catherine said.  
  
"Die in Hell, Maxwell!" Wufei cried, chasing after Duo.  
  
"Gladlyyyy!" Duo called back happily. Catherine went to throw her ball at Duo, but she wasn't quick enough. She hit Wufei.  
  
"Oops! Sorry, I was aiming for Duo." She called to him. Wufei hung his head in shame.  
  
"Taken out by a woman! Oh, the dishonor!" He said, sulking his way to where everyone else who was out were standing. Sally caught up with him and tried to comfort him.  
  
"Hey, if it helps, you can thow a ball at me and get me out before you totally leave the game, sweetie!" She said.  
  
"I'm not going to hit a woman. I don't like fighting weak enemies." He said. At this Sally got pissed and slammed her ball into Wufei's stomach.  
  
"Weak this, you chauvinistic pig!" She said, then stormed off. Wufei made his way over to the others.  
  
"Oh well, we can try that again la-Hey!" Hilde said as Duo nailed her with his ball.  
  
"Hail Shinigami! Worship me! I got ya, Hilde. I guess you're my slave now, for a whole month."  
  
"Fine." She said, crestfallen.  
  
"Oh, don't worry, you'll like being my slave, especially the kind I want you to be." Duo said with a wink.  
  
Hilde giggled and went over to the growing group of people who were out. So far Quatre, Sally, Heero, Catherine, Noin, and Duo were left.  
  
"C'mon, Quatre! You can do it, stud!" Dorothy yelled.  
  
"Heeeerooo! I'll have a present waiting for you if you win!" Relena offered. Heero gave her a cold stare, and she turned away from him.  
  
"Geez, Mr. Bad Mood. Don't have to take it out on me."  
  
"Get the women out first, so they don't get in the way!" Wufei shouted. He got pelted with several balls and knocked down.  
  
"Oh the shame." He moaned from the floor.  
  
"Go, Catherine." Trowa said.  
  
"Be careful of my helmet!" Zechs said, worry in his voice.  
  
"Oh, I will." Noin called back in a mocking tone.  
  
"Hey Duo! The faster you beat everybody, the sooner you can put me to work!" Hilde said.  
  
"I already know what I'm going to make you do when I get through with this game!" Duo replied.  
  
The remaining players stood, staring at each other, daring each other to make the first move. Duo was standing beside Heero, and quickly bounced his ball against Heero's arm. "I guess you're out, buddy." He said. He grabbed Heero around the shoulders in a quick, friendly hug. "Don't worry, no big deal, huh?" He looked down at Heero sneering at him, then he pointed his gun at Duo's face. Duo let go in a hurry.  
  
"Woah! Excuse me!" He said as Heero went over to join the group. Relena wasted no time in hanging all over him.  
  
"Oh, Heero, that's okay, I still love you!" She said.  
  
"Get off me, now." He growled. She stood up straight.  
  
"Grouchy Goose!" Relena pouted.  
  
Sally made a quick decision and tossed her ball at Quatre. It hit him in the chest.  
  
"You're out!" Sally said.  
  
"Alright!" Dorothy said, clapping her hands and bouncing up and down. "Oh, you look sad. Come here, I'll make you really happy."  
  
"Oh, no!" Quatre said, quickly moving behind Heero. Dorothy chased him around Heero for a while before Mr. Yoshida blew his whistle.  
  
"Dorothy, leave Mr. Winner alone!" He roared.  
  
"Poo." Dorothy said.  
  
"Thank you so much!" Quatre practically groveled.  
  
Duo threw his ball at Sally, where it bounced off her onto Catherine. Noin barely made it away from the ball.  
  
"Double play!" Duo said proudly. Catherine and Sally went over to the other group.  
  
"Guess it's just you and me, Duo." Noin said.  
  
"For the moment." Duo said, then flung his ball at her. Noin dodged it and threw hers. Duo also got out of its path. After they both grabbed a ball, they both threw it at the same time. Both their balls hit each other at the same time, but Noin's bounced off Duo at an angle, off to the side.  
  
Straight for Zechs' helmet.  
  
"No!" Zechs cried, running to save his helmet. It was too late. Noin's ball hit it and sent it crashing against the wall and onto the floor.  
  
"Ochi-chan," Zechs said, kneeling beside the dented helmet. He started weeping, unaware of what was happening behind him.  
  
"It-it's a tie." Quatre said.  
  
"No! Mine hit her first!" Duo said.  
  
"No, mine hit you first!" Noin shot back.  
  
They were squaring off to fight for the title of 'Winner' when the bell rang.  
  
"Oh darn, class is over." Noin said. She stuck her hand out. "Good game, huh?"  
  
Duo shook her hand. "Yeah. Good game."  
  
Everyone filed out of the gym, chatting.  
  
"So, are you going to Home Ec. now, Dorothy?" Relena asked.  
  
"Nope. I'm following my sex-oozing Quatre to music class."  
  
"Eep." Quatre said, ready to bolt.  
  
Zechs was still weeping by his helmet when Noin grabbed him and hauled him up. "C'mon, you can get another one, although I'd prefer you not."  
  
"Ochi-chan!" Zechs cried as he reached for his helmet.  
  
"So, Duo, you have lunch next, right?" Hilde said.  
  
"Yep. What do you say we go to the bathroom and you can start your work right away?"  
  
"Hey, Quatre, doesn't that sound like a good idea for us to do too?" Dorothy said, latching onto him.  
  
"Yikes!"  
  
End 


End file.
